Short Story : Magic Shoes

So I’m just going to write a story after that ordeal

I got a package delivered by Taobao which is the Chinese version of Amazon, they don’t usually deliver them so it was suspicious, you go to the local shop and collect them, but some guy came to my house and left it outside. And it was this beautiful pair of shoes

Now I did not buy shoes, I just buy them online and collect them from the shop, I’m size 46 so and in China they only go up to 44 in the shops. But these shoes appeared at my door without me buying them, my neighbour is a Chinese family so it wasn’t for them, it was for me.

They were very nice kind of loafer shoes that would work for my job or going out so I thought what the hell and took them. My first mistake.

I put the shoes on and they fit perfectly, I have weird thin long feet so usually shoes don’t work, but these were beautiful. In non fiction universe Airwalk shoes were my favourite because they were so bouncy and they were too big for everyone

But I felt great, I had these fly shoes on and checked in the mirror, they looked good in the mirror too

So I don’t know why, but I put on some nice trousers and a shirt and went to walk around in my new shoes. I usually don’t do much except work and go home and have a bike ride once a day but I was purposefully strolling to the gate of my community. I live out of the city so since I was out I though I’ll get a taxi into the city.

It never happens, but I arrived at the gate at the same time as the taxi, it was a very nice EV saloon car, I jumped in and went downtown.
I didn’t really know what to do, I don’t know the town and it’s just a city with shops and things so there wasn’t really much point.

But somehow I got out of the taxi and started walking, nay striding lol, towards the CBD, it was still about 20 minutes and crossing a road from where the taxi stopped so I was kind of doubting myself, but I am very much ‘do everything once’ so I followed my impulses.

I actually end up doing the same thing 100s of times to be honest, I was just glad to be oot the hoos like.

So anyway, I got to the big building, I realised that my shirt was not tucked in and I tucked it in, I probably was looking pretty good. So it’s one of those huge buildings, amazing thing, if you are wearing a shirt and trousers and are striding purposefully, you can go anywhere. another amazing tip, if you are in East Asia everyone grades you by your shoes, like in England you can wear skanky trainers and still pretend to be rich, in Asia you have nice shoes on they think you are rich, if you have rubbish shoes on they think you are poor, it’s even more than racism or teeth.
So I had awesome shoes, I’m walking into this lobby like I own the building, they seem to want to bow but Chinese people don’t bow anymore so they are smiliing at me and seem so happy
‘Ah Mr Nicholas, so glad to see you, here is your room key’

Now it’s a bit too fictional but why not?

So I am striding through the lobby, I deserve this, my feet are beautiful and my shoes love me. I am a VIP and I’m in a huge skyscraper that sort of looks like a tulip, my boat has come in. The lobby guy has a big smile and the guard guy gives me a look as if I am tough.
And this is a rich person place, I’m middle class and guards in China for middle class are old people who everyone likes but would not be able to fight, this guy is one of those huge beefy Chinese guys like Enter the Dragon who probably knows some moves but even if he didn’t could kick you in, rich people stuff. he gives me the warmest nod, I have no idea what is going on but I stride up to the counter.

Mr Nicholas the guy says, clearly admiring my awesome shoes, ‘here is your card’ it’s on the 26th floor.

And this is normal even for normal stuff in China, but the guy walks me over to the elevator and presses the button for me which I kind of like and don’t because the are being ‘big word coming’ obsequieous

Everyone likes to be treated nice though.

So then I’m there with the shoes in the elevator, I’m going up to floor 26, the shoes are totally in control now. I don’t know what to expect, I am well aware that this is a poorly thought out premise about magic shoes without a punchline and this is bound to be disappointing what happens when I get to the 26th floor

So yeah it is, it’s Matthew Macgonahey from Wolf Of Wall Street and Dazed and Confused. He gives me a hug says ‘love the blog brother, those are my shoes’

I’m a fan, I tell him I loved True Detective and his vibe, he gives me that smile and says ‘I know brother, I know, same feet’

I look down and oh my god it’s true, we both have the same weird skinny long gnarled feet’

Alright Alright Alright