I was married. It was all her as well, she wanted to get married, I was nice to her because I’m nice, but I’m also me, she still wanted to marry me.
She asked for the divorce, I didn’t want to get divorced but I did want to live away from her.
No reason, I just knew she was sick of me
I broke her heart, I think that she wanted me to realise that I was hurting her and change. But I just said fine.
I don’t know what it is to be a man, people admired me for a while, I was always kind of a nut but I did alright, and punched above my weight I guess, then I am 40 and nothing about me is appealing to me. I have worked on skills so I am good at some stuff, but it’s all kind of boring.
I do have a degree of awareness, like I am horrible sometimes, but I am not one of those people who is convinved that they know everything, I still always try to learn and modify. which I didn’t do when I was young.
And now it’s over and I honestly could die tomorrow or in 40 years and it wouldn’t be that different, I do keep up with the writing and music, but there is no brilliance there. What I did young was crap but had a brilliance.
I am a good teacher, that might keep me alive for a while
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