So Mr Breem made this website 2 years ago so we could write random stuff, he’s given up so it’s just me talking to myself, he probably read it, he’s weird. There is probably another small group of people who read it because people do read everything. Anyway, I stopped writing cos nobody reads it as far as I know but I do still like writing out thoughts.
One project I did recently was to write about when I first moved to China on a forum for people who live in China. It’s turned into a thing so I thought I’ll post it on here so at least there is something happens. You never know, it might all mean something one day, que sera sera. I’ll still try and do writing but doing self expression is quite difficult so this is something I already did and I’ll put it somewhere (I hate drunk me, I just witter on about nothing)
k this is just self indulgence and it is probably boring. What better place to put on here, I do want this place to stay alive. EL is this mad lighthouse keeper and at least he reads it all. I periodically check back in, usually in the wee hours and look at old threads.
Anyway so I’m just going to write about my alcoholism in a self indulgent way so don’t read it if you don’t like shite literature. I’ll tell it through the prism of this forum, which is the prism of China. Very weird how connected I am to China. It is a huge power and so it hoovers up people of course…
I only really admitted that I was an alcoholic to myself recently. I always knew, but that is the big battle. It’s really hit home now, I’m 45, currently in Hanoi, a little drunk, I was drunk as hell a couple of days ago, not in a fun way.
First time I ever thought about going to China was in 2006 I think. I was with a Welsh girl in Korea, we both drank a lot and I thought about running away from her lol. In those days even Korea struggled to get westerners and China had these offers which seemed ridiculous online like ‘If you come to our school we will give you a bike and organise a cultural trip twice a month’. I think they were true as well, I know that it was very wild west, but even as a bear of little brain I could see that some were lying and some were genuine.
I didn’t go. I still sometimes look at these adverts on TEFL.com in the central Asia countries like Kazhakstan and Uzbek etc and I have emailed and they are similar ‘Please come, nobody comes, you will love it, we will meet you at the airport with a lamb’.
They often do. Nice middle class people who have it together, just shut out of the world
Anyway, I didn’t go lol. What actually happened, I stayed in Korea, me and the lass broke up, cos of the drink, especially mine looking back. I stayed in Korea a bit after she left, then I moved back to Newcastle and kept drinking. Ended up back at my parents in the countryside because I couldn’t keep a job. They had moved to France while I was away and I was in this loft drinking Pastis and in a bad way.
I knew a couple of people from a poltical and things site who lived in China one of whom was the dear departed Contemporarydog from here and in that way that especially in those days these were real communities, because we knew each other, he gave me loads of advice and I started my new life in China.
As you know, he also had problems and we didn’t keep in touch but this was when I appeared on here after he told me it was a great resource.
It was a new start, I worked for the now thankfully defunct WebInternational. I actually liked them, but they were comically run. A funny thing about China at the time, although I don’t know, I can’t imagine that it was the same, there was always some really mad guy in these companies who had a weird role and seemed to be sleeping with the really hot secretary, who only seemed to be there cos she was with him. Like someone would tell you he was the cousin of the owner or something, and he would come in once a month in a really sharp suit and just pretend to do stuff. Always best not to ask.
So this was 2009, not wild west although you did still see insane stuff everywhere, it still had this real feeling of someone had just plonked Capitalism down on a completely different society and said ‘Be American’ and people were trying. It was incredibly overwhelming coming from my parents attic in France. I didn’t actually fall victim to the demon drink, the company placed me in Wenzhou which at the time was not a rich looking town, an amazing thing was that you would do what anyone who has worked in a mediocre training centre for adults is familiar with, like the lesson plans were ok usually, standard conversation starters and the sort of things that were in all of the ESL books back then. You just had to be charming, but apparently I kind of went around mopey and depressed and people thought I was weird ( I was), but they liked me so they didn’t fire me, they sent me off to Yangzhou
Which is where the story will pick up next time I am on here lol
I thoght I could do this but it’s actually 15 years of this so it would take a lot more effort than I thought. There was a lot more boozing in Yangzhou, that was when I was on here loads and I got told off for being generally drunk and rude (by Raoul who was lovely about it and really encouraged me to just wind it in a bit)
for context if you read it. The web forums are Urban75 where contemporarydog wa Renegade Dog (RIP) and the Chinese forum was Raoul’s China Saloon. Raoul who ran it is also RIP.
Urban75 is still pretty busy and a fun time although they kicked me off loads of times cos I’m an annoying person and Raoul’s is still going but there are only about 3 people still use it
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